This website is to help women of domestic violence. When we know a woman has been hit or
Threatened, we sometimes ask “why doesn’t she leave him”. Have you ever thought to ask “why
doesn’t he stop hurting her”. I used to be one who would ask why doesn’t she leave but until you have
walked in those shoes, don’t judge us. Yes, I was one of those women who was abused. I never
told anyone anything. I kept it to myself.
It started by him talking down to me or making me feel like I couldn’t do anything right or
everything was my fault. Then things go physical – being pushed, head butted, hit and then he would
apologize saying he wouldn’t do it anymore. He told me it was my fault for getting him upset to where
he hurt me. He would say we need to get a divorce but when I agreed he would get mad. He told me
he could not stand for me to be with someone else. So we stayed together, there were good times and
a lot more bad times.
We had two children. I had always wanted my kids to have a good family life. Everytime
he would hurt me he was chipping away the love I had for him. I didn’t realize it at the time but my
kids were hurting like me. I hoped they didn’t hear and see everything he did to me. But they heard
a lot and saw things. There were days when I dreaded going home after work not knowing what was
going to happen. I felt tired and wanted to sleep. I realize now it was depression.
So why didn’t I leave? I have family and friends and there is Amy’s House. I knew I couldn’t
leave. He would have found me wherever I would have gone. My kids had to go to school and I had
to work to pay the bills. God kept my kids and myself safe. I had three black eyes, pistol pointed at my
head and broke the skin, kicked, pushed, headbutted, knife thrown at me.
Then one night it got really bad. He gave me my third black eye, put me in a choke hold then
got the gun. He pointed it at me, I had my arms up in front of my face, he said look at me, you are
going to get a bullet in the head, feel warm blood and fall over dead. He took me at gun point
and made me drive him to mom and dads house. When we got there my dad came out, he head butted
my dad. He told me he would kill my dad, mom, me then himself. I’m yelling the whole time for
him to stop. He shot my dad over seven times. My dad died that night. I jumped in my car and
left because I knew he would get me next. That was the hardest thing to do, leave my dad lying
there on the ground. He was arrested that night and charged with 1st degree murder and later
charged with 1st degree kidnapping.
The other hardest thing I had to do was tell my kids their dad murdered their papaw.
my kids lost their dad and papaw that night. He went to jail til the trial and now serving a life
sentence in prison. Domestic violence affects family and friends. My sisters and I lost our dad.
My grandpaw lost his oldest son and my nieces and nephew lost their papaw. My mom lost
the love of her life. My dad and mom taught us to be strong and to work to take care of ourselves.
My dad was a great man and hard worker. With his strength, God, family and friends
is what has helped me through. I have my daddy in me.
I have gone from keeping it all inside to telling my story to anyone. I want women
to know they are not alone. I can say “I know how you feel”. We can’t plan out our lives even
if we tried. Only God has our life planned out. I had blamed myself for what happened to my
dad but I know it wasn’t my fault and I couldn’t stop what happened.
To all the women – don’t let a man control you. You are you own person and you don’t
have to have a man in your life to make you who you are. I tell my story so maybe it will help
save another person or family. No one should have to go through what we did.
My dad was Hugh Edward Waters of Lincolnton NC.
Amy Waters Houser